Today, Jeff brought in salt water taffy for everyone to share, and Carol, who is on weight watchers but STILL ate the only coconut flavor, called him the devil.
Really Carol? Jeff is the devil? JEFF?!
Not I? The pagan witch?
the one who spends his cigarrette breaks worshipping a fell beast of Odin?!
the one who curses customers by writing magical glyphs on the bottoms of seasonal venti cups?!
the one who clogged the toilet? accidentally?! And we had to close down the store for a full TWO hours?!
OBVIOUSLY CAROL, You have no IDEA who the devil is.
(No one knows, really. Some say he's a greek god, or jesus's brother. I dont' really know.)
Carol, if there's any DARK betrickery to be done, then rest assured, it is I that will be doing it. Tomorrrow, I shall bring free candy to work, then WE'LL SEE WHO IS THE FELL GOD OF DARKNESS.
-Lord of devils
EDIT: Carol called me an angel. My dark rage burns and musters like a forgotten pot of Christmas Blend coffee.
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