MeMoRIeS gone awry!!!

Being the will of one Lord Malachai
--Wisconsin Prince of Darkness--
--Lord of All Wisconsin fairy Folk--
--Pagan Barista--
--Morbid tongue of the wolf--

In case I die. oR live!!! I should dsay, since one wll never kill that which has touched the frozen lips of death™
here is alist of my wishes. Posessions. Curses. and burial requirements.

1) my body shall be placed inside a frshly slain wolf, and left alone in the fields of Wisconsin.

2) 1000 candles, black. shall be held in the hands of local children
2b) if 1000 black candles can not be found, you may purchase qny color and paint them
2c) If black paint cannot be found. 1000 white candles in the hands of local black children will suffice.

3) you shall not spit on the grave of the fallen

4) No DaDs at the FuNeRaL!!!!!

5) I will be buried in november. No MATTER when I die.

6) my copy of You've Got Mail will go to the highest bidder. Place the money n my grave.

6) Tony (my boss) has to serve everyone Starbucks Perfect opatmeal and pumpkin sipce lattes.

&) Chrisninda, the Eatern Wisconsin Starbucks Reginoal Manager has to name a new drnk the Creamsicle Latte. It's madewith 3 bags of orange tea; half a up of heavy cream; and half a cup of latte.

8) the greving will require bagpipe and cello.

*) the following poem wil be read BY MY DADDDD, over the phone, to the masses gathered:

do not fret
do not wallow
they bodies waste
in harvests swallow

the cold wind blows
upon cheeks flocked
with blue color colder
the gardens never bloom
they'll grow no older

the sun sets
the SON sets
I should have been
a better father

-The L:o:r:d of Orange Cream


Dear dEnIzEns of the Space Between
(and no, i am not tlakign bAout the FUCKING DAVE MATTHEerWS SONG, eLIZA!

Tomorow AT work itS my turn to draw on the chalkboard. Tony saidf THAT wasn't a good idea, but our reginal manager chrisinda said everyone gets a turn. SO FUCK YOU, TON Y!
Stop trying to hold back the darkness!

I spent theree hours on my dad's IPAD, trying to desing something that rteally captured--no, that really haunted the viwer upon first glance. Chrsinda said just amke sure to advertise Starbucks new breakfast rolls, and that ic an draw anythign I want. REMEMBER SALLOW ONES...THESE ARE ROUGH. DRAFTS. I 'M SURE they wl look much better with chalk instead of fingers.

This onei is called Breakfast with the devil:

this is entitled Gaunt of toung and limb:

this one is based off a song i wrote, and its called: "Someone cget a hungry Frog, Cause I'm flyin' off this buildn'"

and finally, as a SAFETY design... because i fucking KNOW Tony, and if his KACKI FUCKING PANTS ARE ANY signal..., he is NOT open expressions of the soul..
So this ones called "dark meat inside"...

So come by the store tomorrow, and check out the danger!
(death and screaming, nt hugs ans k,isees)

Shadow Squandor

Greetings dead gods, screamers of the night, and my friend Cathy

Todaty at work I found a crack in the bathroom...I told Tony it was probably the darkness, and he was like "yea most cracks have darkness in them."
I told hm to laugh all he wanted....we'll see who's laughing when the antichrist himSLEF steps out of this plaster and fucking KNIOFES YOU IN THE PENIS.

But when I reached inside the crack.... my fuckcing hand got STUCK between some pipes ior something..and I had to wait like 4 !!!!!hours for the paramedics to show up.
Tony told everyone I was in the bathroom with my hand stuck in my c rack.


X: (
When OUr reginoal manager Chrisinda got there, she said the crack was probabbly a busted water pipe. And TONY SAID IT WAS BECAUSE I am LACTOSE INTOLERANT..AND I WOuLD HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.
FUCK YOU TONY. and i'll tlel you this. I was int here for 5.hours. and i am NOT the only lactose intolerant customer.

-Lord Malacahi
the crippled Fey

RIP Goth-A-Doodle

Sad greetings from the womb of darkness (my dad;s old blackberry)
It seems that my familiar
a MIDNIGHT black Rooster I named Goth-A-Doodle
has died
while iw as painting him
in my garage

Me and the ghosts of this suburb held a funeral in my front yard
I think he would have wanted ti that way
but my fdad got mad----made me UNBURY him, and rebury him in the backyard
RP Goth-A-Doodle, the crooked crow of the mourning.

Here is an excerpt from the elogy:

Sad condolences, my feathered specter of despair
the crow born a rooster
buried there

{and then I pointed to the ground at this part}

There among the daffodilss
Wisonsin fields of pain
black clad specter
choked to death
on Behr brand black paint.

Google Curse


Masses of the Dark Host, fellow faerie kings and Wisconsin fiends.
it is I, Lord Malachai; Pagan witch of Odin,
and part time Starbucks barista.

I just logged on to find out that, APPARENTLY, for the last YEAR and a HALF my daily posts about Starbucks, life, and he who is Satan, have not been posting.

I did NOT KNWO THIS! I've been posting from my Dad's Blackberry, since I inadvertently Cast a WRETHCVED curse on his mac book pro, after trying to photoshop a custom avatar of myself, covered in crows.

WELl, it looks like I've literally been texting blog posts into thin fucking air. So for the RECORD, I still work at Starbucks, I live with my Dad, and I will now be posting from my own t-MOBILE SIDEKICK!!!!!!!!!!!

-The Scare K. Row of the night
-and day.
Lord MAlachai

Grey Skies of Wisconsin

I was having a really rough day mixing people's drinks and then Tony came in and was like "what the hell is going on?"
and i said "nothing"
and then he said "are you wearign makeup?1"
and I saidd no!

and he was like it looks like eyeliner

and i said they are shadows of sadness
and someone said, yea it looks like you've been crying a lot.

So I tooka freak break to go in the bathroom and just "witch out" for a few minutes.

and when I came back out everyone was staring.

...the black tears of loriel doth fall unlightly.

Cackle Maw

Today when I was worshipping the dark ones I dropped a whole plate of scones on the floor.

The whole store started laughing and clapping and i didn't know what else to do so I started SCREAMING AT THEM in my WITCH voice...but that voice is RAELLY hard to do and it makes my throat dry and I choked and then everyone LAUGHED EVEN HARDER!! :(

Tony told me to go take a a freak break, which at first I thought meant freak out but he said that's not how he meant it.

I told everyone they wouldn't be applauding when THE SHADOWS CAME TO FEAST but that made them start laughign all over again.

Tehn Tonymade me go int he back room so I used the creamer to pour a sigil of dark feasting on the floor, But I think I accidently poured the sigil of slipping because stupid AMY walked in and slipped and got REALLY hurt.

Tony said I can't tell ANYONE it was me or we'll be sued.

-The Slip Lord.